Word, not Resolutions
In 2016 I decided to give up on New Year Resolutions. They usually didn’t last past the end of the month anyway and that was just depressing. Instead, I decided that I would choose a word that would be my word of the year. I’d spend the year focusing on integrating the word into my life and (hopefully) seeing positive changes at the end of the year.
My first word was Nourish. I focused 2016 on nourishing my mind, body, and relationships. It was about investing in me. Feeding my mind, body, and soul with what I needed to grow. I wrote my word on the whiteboard in my office. I tried to keep it front and center during the year. At the end of 2016, I spent some time reflecting on how Nourish guided my actions. There were some positive changes and it felt better than looking back at a list of resolutions that went unkept.
For 2017, my word was Transform. This seemed an appropriate word not just for me but for my entire family. Both of my kids were hitting big milestones in 2017. One graduated from high school, started college, a great internship, and a pilot license. The other turned 18 and started planning for college. For them, Transform had a subword – Adulting. It was time to teach these kiddos how to be adults. For my husband and I, we started thinking about how we’ll transform as we transition to parents of young adults. I also focused on transforming my professional goals and purpose.
As we approach the final days of 2107, I have to say that I’m fairly satisfied with the year of Transform. The kids have exhibited some adult-like behaviors (Yay!). My husband and I have started making small changes to help us manage our new parenting roles and look toward our future as a couple with adult children (Yikes!). Personally, I have made some big professional changes that have reignited my passion for education and helped me refocus on some new ways to share that passion (Yippee!). Overall, The Year of Transform was successful. Onward to 2018!
2018: The Year of Boundaries
In a few short days, we will welcome 2018. New year. New word. 2018 will be The Year of Boundaries.
I’ve been tossing this word around in my head for a couple weeks. Trying it on and testing it out. Comparing it to other words like courage or strength. The more I think about it, the more I really like this word and I am excited to make it work for 2018.
I know it sounds a bit weird as a goal word but let me break down my thinking. Let’s look at the definition of Boundary. A boundary is a line. A line that defines an area or sets a limit. According to the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend (One I read many, many years ago as a new mom and highly recommend.), personal boundaries help us define who we are. Some boundaries are good while others may be bad or hold us back.
A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not.
My daughter and I have been talking a lot about boundaries lately and why it is important to have personal boundaries in our lives. However, it can be a difficult concept to understand let alone apply. I was well into my adult years before I learned about the idea of personal boundaries. I hope to teach both of my kids about the concept now as they are becoming adults. As I teach them, it will be a great time for me to reflect on my own boundaries.
Without boundaries in your life, especially your relationships, it is easy for someone or something to consume you. You might lose yourself to an overbearing friend or an overdemanding job. Making everything but you a priority. Not being able to say “No.” when you need to is a great example. This can be exhausting. Especially if you are a “people pleaser” like my daughter and me. Learning how to set boundaries is not just a nice to do but a must do for a healthy, balanced life. Yet, you might have other boundaries that are preventing you from forming close relationships or preventing you from taking risks that stretch you out of your comfort zone and into something amazing. You might have a little voice that reminds you that you might look foolish or fail if you try. Thus, keeping you contained within your comfortable personal sphere of activity and not trying anything new. Not a healthy boundary that helps grow but one that limits who you might become.
Again, some boundaries are good while others are bad. The trick is figuring out which is which and making changes.
So, 2018 is the year of Boundaries. My year for identifying and understanding my current boundaries and making adjustments as needed. Setting (or strengthening) healthy boundaries and removing unhealthy ones or those that have been holding me back. We’ll see how that goes. At the very least, I’ll be more reflective about my priorities and goals. At the best, I’ll have boundaries that help me establish new priorities and goals that will allow me to nourish my body, mind, and spirit and transform into something amazing! Sounds like a win, win either way.
Happy New Year!
What’s your word for 2018?